Thursday, May 16, 2013

What All the Sisters Need to Know


We've all been there, haven't we?  All the pain and sadness of a broken world descending right upon our life, right where we live.  We've suffered a hard blow--maybe a health problem, a death of a loved one, a lost job, or a wayward child.  Or maybe we are just bone tired of the day-to-day struggle of life and raising children.
It's happened to me too.  I've been in that dark, lonely place.  I gave up on God.  I couldn't seem to figure life out and God didn't seem to be there at all.  For years, I felt so lost.  My daddy would try to explain it all to me.  My husband would try to encourage me.  They made it sound so simple.  But no matter how I tried, I struggled to walk with God.  Life was difficult.  I was tired and in pain.  Things weren't turning out like I had thought they might when I was younger and had my whole life ahead of me.  Time was slipping away and nothing of importance was being accomplished.  I was failing.
All I ever wanted was to know God.  Occassionally, I would cry out to him and tell him that.  But mostly, I turned away feeling even more alone. 

I had a mask I wore. It was something I could hide behind so no one would see me. And Monday through Friday, I could put on that mask and somehow stay strong enough to make it through.  I could go to work and take care of the kids, but otherwise, I did a lot of hiding.  Come the weekend, I wasn't strong enough to keep the mask on anymore and I'd crumble.

All my failures and shortcomings were bigger than life and I felt like I had no life.  I was depressed.  Several years previous, I remember a neighbor of mine talking about depression and I just couldn't understand what the problem was--now I know...
I have learned over the  years that just because  you know the right things in your head, doesn't mean you can control your feelings or what you do about them.  Depression is real and its hard.  It was a whole lot of stinkin thinkin, but I didn't know how to overcome it.   I needed help and eventually found a solution that lightened my mood enough that I could make some positive progress on controlling my thoughts.   But even after the depression lifted, I still felt so far away from God.  There had been too much time gone by in that desert.

Don't we all have similar stories?  All us sisters?  Your heartaches may be a little different from mine, but somewhere along the line we have all been hurt, felt lost and alone or abandoned.  We desperately needed a savior--the hurting ones in need of a rescue.
And all us sisters, we all agree.  We all know that besides desperately needing a savior, we all need each other.  That our sisters, they are truly Jesus with skin on.  They are the ones in the flesh who hold us when we cry, listen when we need to talk, love us no matter what, and encourage us to go on.  Even those of us with the best, most understanding husbands still know, we need our girlfriends.

Truly, all we really need is Jesus, but aren't we all just so very grateful that he gave us sisters?  Heart sisters.  Sisters that understand us and really hear what we are saying. They help us see beauty when we only see mess.  They help us hold on to hope when we are only broken.  They strengthen our faith when we are too weak to stand.  And some of them weave stories and words of encouragement that lead us straight to the Savior.  Oh how grateful I am for these sisters.  
Because who are we anyway?

We are broken.  We are the hurting, the sinners, the ones who just can't get it right.  Over and over.
And my Karamojong sisters in Uganda, they describe themselves as dirt.  It seems to be a universal problem.  Why do we see ourselves as not good enough, not worthy of love, terrible mothers, bad wives.  Why do we gage our lives by our failures?  How can we turn this around?  How should we gage our lives?  Measure ourselves against who or what?  Why do we see ourselves as less than our heavenly Father sees us?  Why don't we see what He sees when He sees us?  Why are our hearts so darkened from His truth? How do we dispell the darkness?

Praise the Lord!  He drew me in His loving kindness, back to the word, to His heart for me.  His words of love poured light into the darkest places of my heart.  All while I thought He was so far away, He was right there.  He was always there.

I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love,
because you have seen my affliction;
you have known the distress of my soul. Ps 31:7



He reminded me that IN HIM, I am:
 
CHOSEN

Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world,
that we should be holy and blameless before him. Eph 1:4

ADOPTED


In love, he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus
Christ, according to the purpose of his will. Eph 1:5


ACCEPTED

to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has accepted
us in the Beloved (in Him). Eph 1:6

FORGIVEN

In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness
of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. Eph 1:7


HEIRS

In him, we have obtained an inheritance having been
predestined according to the purpose of him who works all
things according to the counsel of his will. Eph 1:11

SEALED


In him, you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel
of your salvation and believed on him, were sealed with the
promised Holy Spirit. Eph 1:13


 LOVED

 ...I have loved you with an everlasting love.  I have drawn
you with loving kindness.  Jer 31:3
 

 
I seems so elementary, but I literally forgot who I was.  I am so thankful for His sacrifice that allows me to be  found "in HIM." 

So thankful for his promises that he works all things together for our good,

that He who began a good work in us will complete it,

that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,

that nothing can separate us from His love,

that we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us,

that we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can know the will of God.
 
Spending time allowing God's truth to fill our mind means there is less room for those negative thoughts that keep us from walking "in Him." 
 
I know our dear Karamojong sisters in Uganda struggle with these same issues, but it looks quite different for them.  They are living in mud homes that are one room, the size of our kitchen, with dirt floors, straw mats for their children to sleep on, and a sheet hanging over their doorway.  Maybe their husband died, or has left them, or has come home drunk and beat them.  Maybe they are sick or have a sick child and have no medicine or way to see a doctor, and maybe that child dies.  Maybe they don't have food to feed their children.  Maybe their toddler doesn't have underwear.  Maybe their six year old broke his arm and it is healing deformed.  Or their sister died and they now have her children to care for as well. 
 
Their lives are hard in a way we can't comprehend.  But they hear the lies too.  They believe the same lies, that they aren't good enough, that they aren't worthy of love, that they are bad mothers.  They need sisters to stand beside them and speak truth over their lives.  To point them to the Savior, the one who loves them and sacrificed himself so that they too can be found "in Him."  Just like us, they need to know who they really are, not based on what they think or feel.  It's based on truth.  On God's word. 

 
 
In two weeks, I will be in Uganda.  My team will have several opportunities to minister to women.  And two days with my Karamojong sisters!   I have prayed for the opportunity to see them again and spend some real time loving them and investing in them.   
 
Pray for me that I will walk in the truth while I'm gone.  I don't want to hear the lies that I am not enough, that I have nothing to offer these women, these sisters that my heart so dearly loves.   And pray for my Ugandan sisters, the ones that might be hearing the lies, that I will boldly speak truth to them so that they will know who they are in Christ. 
 
His grace is sufficient for me, his power is made perfect in my weakness.  I don't want to be who I am.  I want to be who he is in me. 
 
In HIM,
 
Shelli
 
 
 

2 comments:

  1. I love this so much! You are a courageous, amazing woman! I am blessed to have you as my sister for many years now. Looking forward to all God has ahead for you on your next journey to Africa and I know that He will guide your steps and your words as He is glorified. I can't wait to hear all about it and see pictures.
    Sending love ~

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    1. Darci, my "heart sister" from way back...thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. Finding words is hard for me whether writing or speaking. Many years ago someone gave me Luke 12:11-12 to encourage me to be bold. It didn't really mean much to me then, but I have never forgotten it. It says (my paraphrase) "Don't be anxious about what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say." That requires a lot of faith and trust, but He hasn't let me down so far. I'm hanging on for dear life. If He will use me, I will say "Yes."

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