Even When You Cannot See...

Isaiah 41:10

 

Fear not for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you.

I will uphold you with my

righteous right hand.

 

He is always there.  No matter what I face, I need not be

dismayed.  He will give me strength.  He will hold me

up with His righteous right hand.

 

Adventures in traveling.... When I arrived at Charlotte, it showed

Andrew's flight is delayed and will arrive an hour later

than expected.  I don't panic.  I go the customer

service counter and ask.  She says the flight is indeed delayed and

that there is no way for him to make our flight to

Washington, DC. 

 

She starts giving me options. 

 

Yes, she can get Andrew on a flight to Baltimore. 

It will arrive at 9:30 and then he can rent

a car and drive to DC. 

 

No, she can't get me on that flight with

him.  There is only one available seat. 

 

No, there are no other flights to Washington, DC,

not tonight, not in the morning, that will get

him to DC in time for our international flight.

 

I am praying, "Lord, we need an answer."

 

I get Jason on the phone.  He comes up with a Plan B.

 

He says for me to take my flight to DC.  We

will leave a message for Andrew to call

Jason as soon as he lands with instructions

to take the flight to Baltimore.

They will rent a car in DC and have some of the men

from the team drive me to Baltimore.

We will be there to pick Andrew up when he arrives.

It is an hour drive from Dulles to Baltimore.

 

I call my husband for advice.  Plan B is good.

 

When I go back to the customer service agent to confirm that she

will have a seat for Andrew on the Baltimore flight, she tells

me what we could not see...

 

The radar has updated.

Andrew's flight is on time and he should be arriving in

about ten minutes at that gate right over there.

 

As I arrive at the gate, I get a text message from Andrew

that his plane has landed.

 

As I sit on the plane to DC, waiting to take off, with

Andrew sitting a few rows behind me, the Lord whispers

Isaiah 41:10.

 

He always has the answer, even when I cannot see.

He is always there.  I can always trust Him.

 

Oh, how I need His strength for these days ahead!

 

I know I can trust Him.

 

I know He will give me the strength that I need.

 

I know He will uphold me with His righteous right hand!

 

We are safe and sound, ready for a good night's sleep.  The rest of the

team that we have met so far are wonderful, fabulous.  We are

feeling very excited, blessed and ready to go and serve and see

what God has in store for all of us.

 

Thank you all for your support and for praying.  It means so much.

 

 

 

In Him,

 

Shelli





What All the Sisters Need to Know

We've all been there, haven't we?  All the pain and sadness of a broken world descending right upon our life, right where we live.  We've suffered a hard blow--maybe a health problem, a death of a loved one, a lost job, or a wayward child.  Or maybe we are just bone tired of the day-to-day struggle of life and raising children.

It's happened to me too.  I've been in that dark, lonely place.  I gave up on God.  I couldn't seem to figure life out and God didn't seem to be there at all.  For years, I felt so lost.  My daddy would try to explain it all to me.  My husband would try to encourage me.  They made it sound so simple.  But no matter how I tried, I struggled to walk with God.  Life was difficult.  I was tired and in pain.  Things weren't turning out like I had thought they might when I was younger and had my whole life ahead of me.  Time was slipping away and nothing of importance was being accomplished.  I was failing.

All I ever wanted was to know God.  Occassionally, I would cry out to him and tell him that.  But mostly, I turned away feeling even more alone. 

I had a mask I wore. It was something I could hide behind so no one would see me. And Monday through Friday, I could put on that mask and somehow stay strong enough to make it through.  I could go to work and take care of the kids, but otherwise, I did a lot of hiding.  Come the weekend, I wasn't strong enough to keep the mask on anymore and I'd crumble.

All my failures and shortcomings were bigger than life and I felt like I had no life.  I was depressed.  Several years previous, I remember a neighbor of mine talking about depression and I just couldn't understand what the problem was--now I know...

I have learned over the  years that just because  you know the right things in your head, doesn't mean you can control your feelings or what you do about them.  Depression is real and its hard.  It was a whole lot of stinkin thinkin, but I didn't know how to overcome it.   I needed help and eventually found a solution that lightened my mood enough that I could make some positive progress on controlling my thoughts.   But even after the depression lifted, I still felt so far away from God.  There had been too much time gone by in that desert.

Don't we all have similar stories?  All us sisters?  Your heartaches may be a little different from mine, but somewhere along the line we have all been hurt, felt lost and alone or abandoned.  We desperately needed a savior--the hurting ones in need of a rescue.

And all us sisters, we all agree.  We all know that besides desperately needing a savior, we all need each other.  That our sisters, they are truly Jesus with skin on.  They are the ones in the flesh who hold us when we cry, listen when we need to talk, love us no matter what, and encourage us to go on.  Even those of us with the best, most understanding husbands still know, we need our girlfriends.

Truly, all we really need is Jesus, but aren't we all just so very grateful that he gave us sisters?  Heart sisters.  Sisters that understand us and really hear what we are saying. They help us see beauty when we only see mess.  They help us hold on to hope when we are only broken.  They strengthen our faith when we are too weak to stand.  And some of them weave stories and words of encouragement that lead us straight to the Savior.  Oh how grateful I am for these sisters.  

Because who are we anyway?

We are broken.  We are the hurting, the sinners, the ones who just can't get it right.  Over and over.

And my Karamojong sisters in Uganda, they describe themselves as dirt.  It seems to be a universal problem.  Why do we see ourselves as not good enough, not worthy of love, terrible mothers, bad wives.  Why do we gage our lives by our failures?  How can we turn this around?  How should we gage our lives?  Measure ourselves against who or what?  Why do we see ourselves as less than our heavenly Father sees us?  Why don't we see what He sees when He sees us?  Why are our hearts so darkened from His truth? How do we dispell the darkness?

Praise the Lord!  He drew me in His loving kindness, back to the word, to His heart for me.  His words of love poured light into the darkest places of my heart.  All while I thought He was so far away, He was right there.  He was always there.

I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love,
because you have seen my affliction;

you have known the distress of my soul. Ps 31:7

He reminded me that IN HIM, I am:

 

CHOSEN

Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world,
that we should be holy and blameless before him. Eph 1:4

ADOPTED

In love, he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus
Christ, according to the purpose of his will. Eph 1:5

ACCEPTED

to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has accepted

us in the Beloved (in Him). Eph 1:6

FORGIVEN

In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness
of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. Eph 1:7

HEIRS

In him, we have obtained an inheritance having been
predestined according to the purpose of him who works all
things according to the counsel of his will. Eph 1:11

SEALED

In him, you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel
of your salvation and believed on him, were sealed with the
promised Holy Spirit. Eph 1:13

 LOVED

 ...I have loved you with an everlasting love.  I have drawn

you with loving kindness.  Jer 31:3

 



 

I seems so elementary, but I literally forgot who I was.  I am so thankful for His sacrifice that allows me to be  found "in HIM." 

So thankful for his promises that he works all things together for our good,

that He who began a good work in us will complete it,

that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,

that nothing can separate us from His love,

that we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us,

that we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can know the will of God.

 

Spending time allowing God's truth to fill our mind means there is less room for those negative thoughts that keep us from walking "in Him." 

 

I know our dear Karamojong sisters in Uganda struggle with these same issues, but it looks quite different for them.  They are living in mud homes that are one room, the size of our kitchen, with dirt floors, straw mats for their children to sleep on, and a sheet hanging over their doorway.  Maybe their husband died, or has left them, or has come home drunk and beat them.  Maybe they are sick or have a sick child and have no medicine or way to see a doctor, and maybe that child dies.  Maybe they don't have food to feed their children.  Maybe their toddler doesn't have underwear.  Maybe their six year old broke his arm and it is healing deformed.  Or their sister died and they now have her children to care for as well. 

 

Their lives are hard in a way we can't comprehend.  But they hear the lies too.  They believe the same lies, that they aren't good enough, that they aren't worthy of love, that they are bad mothers.  They need sisters to stand beside them and speak truth over their lives.  To point them to the Savior, the one who loves them and sacrificed himself so that they too can be found "in Him."  Just like us, they need to know who they really are, not based on what they think or feel.  It's based on truth.  On God's word. 

 

 

In two weeks, I will be in Uganda.  My team will have several opportunities to minister to women.  And two days with my Karamojong sisters!   I have prayed for the opportunity to see them again and spend some real time loving them and investing in them.   

 

Pray for me that I will walk in the truth while I'm gone.  I don't want to hear the lies that I am not enough, that I have nothing to offer these women, these sisters that my heart so dearly loves.   And pray for my Ugandan sisters, the ones that might be hearing the lies, that I will boldly speak truth to them so that they will know who they are in Christ. 

 

His grace is sufficient for me, his power is made perfect in my weakness.  I don't want to be who I am.  I want to be who he is in me. 

 

In HIM,

 

Shelli

 

 

 

Can't Go?....Send Love!

Call me crazy, but I had this fantastic idea!

Those of you who know me won't be surprised.  I tend to overdo.  I'm a little over the top sometimes.  A little bit is never good enough when you can do more.  Right?

It all started with the idea that anyone who sponsored a child before I leave could write a letter to their child for me to hand deliver.  I mean, if I sponsored a child, I would want an opportunity to reach out to that child and send a letter, send my love in an envelope, my words on a page to bless and love on that child as best I could from here in Kansas all the way to there in Uganda.  I would want to do that. 

All my new sponsors were only happy to agree with me and write letters to their new children, welcoming these little ones into their hearts and families. 

And for me, the one who gets to deliver all that love?  I am so excited.  What a fabulous mission!  While I'm visiting the school and the children, I will be able to shower them with love not just from me but from their sponsors too.

This is Patricia...

 

and this is love, sent from Josie...

 

 

 

 

How wonderful!  Can you even imagine how excited I was when I saw how Josie signed her letter?

She signed it:

 

Sending Love,

Josie Purvis

 

Amazing!  What a sweetheart! 

 

But wait, if we don't have all 71 kids sponsored by the time I leave, some of my "babies" will have love arrive in an envelope and some won't.

 

And that is where my crazy idea came into play.  And that, my dear friend, is where you come in....

 

Maybe you can't commit to sponsoring a child right now.  Not that you wouldn't like to, but....  Yes, I do understand. 

 

So instead, how about you just love them.  How about you just send them love in an envelope.

 

Isn't it just perfect?  You will be so blessed and they will feel so loved!

 

It's so simple.  Just email, facebook or leave a comment below and let me know that you would like to send love to a child.  I will respond by giving you a name and a little information about a child.  Then you can write your letter adding photos, stickers and colors.  Use your imagination.  Letters can be sent to:

 





www dot sendinglove2uganda at gmail.com

or

P O Box 404
Tribune, KS 67879

Please give yourself plenty of time to get letters to me. I need them all safely tucked away in my suitcase by May 22.

Feel free to ask for more than one child. We have 46 children who need "love" sponsors. One friend and her children are sending love to ten. Another young girl and her bible study group are going to write letters together.

We can do this! We can all do this!

Who knows, maybe their teacher will have them write letters and send love back to us and we will all be doubly blessed!

If by chance in the process of sending love in an envelope you decide that you want to keep this child in your heart and family long-term, we will be happy to help you set up your sponsorship. Our sponsorships are $30 a month. Every dime goes to cover the childrens' school fees and supplies, and two meals a day. There are no administrative costs. The money doesn't go to an entire village and only help in an obscure way. It only benefits the children who attend Home Again Ministries School/Bethel Junior School.

You can be sure, when I return, I will post pictures of the children receiving their love from all of you.  Can you just see their happy faces?

 

This is already amazing!  Seriously, it really is a great idea...

So, who will you send love to? Scovia, Joseph, Rodha, Mercy, Frank, Ivan, Christine, Samuel?

 

Let's do this!!!

 

Sending Love,
Shelli



Hallelujah Party!

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his

steadfast love endures forever.

I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart...

for working all things together for our good

for your faithfulness

for calling us according to your purpose

for walking beside my son even when he wasn't walking beside you

for bringing me through the desert

for giving us the desires of our heart

for hearing us when we cry out to you

for the peace of your presence

for supplying all our needs

for our borthers and sisters all across this country supporting us with encouraging

words, in prayer and financially

for women here making sacrifices to bless our sisters in Uganda

with their time and their finances

for a huge suitcase stuffed completely full of bras!

for all the taco salads and beans and rice consumed by the wonderful families supporting us

for the clothes donated

for the excitement of sweet teenage girls sponsorsoring our Patricia

for the mom who shares a birthday with our Ali and will support and love

him as she celebrates their special day each year

for the dear friends who have come along side and helped us

plan, serve, prepare food and clean up

for the women, girls and boys wearing beads and tee shirt bracelets to support us

for giving srength and energy on days we need it

for giving rest and peace on days we need it

for a daughter that helps cook taco meat, chop tomatoes, organize and set up bead sales,

wears her "Man Up" tee shirt to school, and supports me fiercely

for strong sons who support and encourage me and load and unload, and gather up

and put away, and take out trash and wash dishes

for a husband who loves me so unconditionally that he supports me and encourages me

and listens to me endlessly talk about Uganda

for dear friends standing beside me in prayer

 

for giving me words when I have none

 

Today is the day that the Lord has made, let us

REJOICE and be glad in HIM.

for a dear "heart" sister far away who sacrifices, works extra hours, joyfully sends money to

help her sisters in Uganda faithfully every month, and then asks if she can do more

for a small group in another state, people I've never met, willing to give for the benefit

of the least of these, based on the testimony of a sister-in-law

for you are our God and we are your people, the sheep of your pasture

so overwhelmed by your goodness

so grateful to belong to you, my King and my God

for your promises, for your word

for guiding my steps, going before me, hemming me in

for blessing me so abundantly that I can be a blessing to others

for the way you work in the hearts of men and draw us to you

for the way you accomplish your plan and bring your kingdom to us,

here on earth as it is in heaven

I could sing of your love forever

For you, O Lord, are the strength of my heart and my portion forever

My day started off in such joyous celebration of what God has done.  But as the day wore on and my list got longer and longer--just giving thanks for what He has done in the last couple months--joyous celebration turned into humble adoration.

How did I know when I began to pray that mountains would fall before me?

How did I know that funds would come in, not just for me, but for Andrew too?

Not just for me and Andrew, but for vocational projects for the Karamojong women as well.

And not just for me and Andrew and for the vocational projects, but also to cover the cost of a womens' conference for my Karamojong friends.

How did I know I could hold four fundraisers in two weeks' time and not feel stressed?

He told me to ask.  He told me to ask repeatedly.  He told me to trust Him and not to worry.  He said

 

 Be still and know that I am God

 

So I did.

I trusted the Lord with my whole heart.  I did not lean on my own understanding. In all my ways I acknowledged Him and He directed my paths.

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me

your steadfast love, O Lord,

endures forever......

 

Praise the Lord!

For it is good to sing praises to our God;

for it is pleasant, and a song of

praise is fitting.

 

 

Hallelujah!  Praise Him!

 

 

Shelli


 

 

 

Why I'm Going to Uganda -- Andrew's Story

I am thrilled to introduce a guest blogger today!  My son, Andrew, tells us why he is going to Uganda.  As a mom, it is so difficult to watch your child go through hard things.  But when you put it in proper perspective, you realize that it was all God, all along.  He was always there.  It was all by Him, for Him, through Him and all for His glory.  How excited I am to share this experience with my son and see what God will continue to do in his life!

Without further ado, here’s Andrew….

Toward the end of May, I will be leaving the United States for the first time on a flight to Ethiopia, where I will head to Uganda. I will be leaving the comfort of my home and family for ten days, with a mission. 

A mission that I have been preparing for my whole life.

The story begins more than ten years ago with an epiphany I received while crying alone in my bedroom. My frustration was due to a misunderstanding of God, and a feeling of unacceptance and judgment coming mostly from other Christians. I have been a scientist (at least in spirit) from a very young age. Logic and reason have always been my best friends. At this time I was spending hours on a regular basis studying biology, paleontology, and physics purely for enjoyment. I had my own computer and used it extensively to read up on these subjects as well as the latest scientific news. I loved learning and wanted to be a science fiction writer or scientist myself someday.

Unfortunately, all around me I was facing heavy resistance from the Christians in my life against my burgeoning thirst for knowledge and my embrace of the scientific views on the history of the universe. I believed in evolution and the fact that the earth was millions of years old. Just look at the fossil record! Radiometric dating proves the earth is ancient! In my view the evidence was hard to argue with, and we needed to reconcile what we believed about God with the newest information. No one around me (save for my science teachers) wanted to even discuss the possibility that these things could be true. I felt condemned for believing them. Apparently I was supposed to simply ignore it all and read the bible more. However, my mind doesn’t work that way.

As you will see more later, I can’t let ANYTHING go. I can’t ignore ANYTHING. I think, and I think, and I reason, and I never stop. This component of my personality has been immortalized by a story my parents love to tell of a question I asked them when I was only about four years old. I asked them how I could get my brain to stop talking to me. I chuckle thinking about that even now. I wasn’t hearing voices. I just had a song stuck in my head. Thoughts tend to get stuck in my head.

So there I was, alone in my room, crying because I felt very confused, unaccepted, and condemned. I felt as though thinking about or talking to God only made me feel bad, because I could never live up to standards set by everyone else. I realized that the entire reason I was sitting in my room crying and feeling terrible all the time, was because of Christianity. Because I was constantly being told what to do and what to think and nothing outside of the norm was accepted. I simply didn’t fit into the mold.

And thus I had an epiphany…THERE IS NO GOD! The realization instantly wiped my tears away. I no longer felt any guilt or sadness. I thought it must be true, after all religion only oppresses people, and science has been suppressed by religion for centuries. This realization only renewed my interest in the sciences and I spent even more time reading. I became an avid reader of nearly everything, and my ideas about life were shaped by science, logic, and science fiction.

I read a ton of science fiction, and I got my start after inheriting a box of my dad’s old sci-fi novels. I have nearly become a sci-fi expert. I have read everything from Jules Verne and H. G. Wells to Olaf Stapledon to the Golden Age authors (my favorites!) Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, Robert Heinlein, Philip K. Dick, and modern authors as well. I learned I prefer Hard Sci-Fi and space opera. My ideas about life were certainly shaped heavily by these authors.

Many people like to say that right and wrong can only come from God, and that atheists are not moral people. I begged to differ.  I have always considered myself to be a caring and ethical person. I have always viewed it this way: I can feel pain, and I know what suffering feels like. I don’t like the way that feels. I know that other people can feel that way to, and that they don’t like it either. I know that my actions can influence whether others feel bad or good. Therefore I will be nice because that way I won’t make others feel bad, and hopefully then they will be nice to me too!

Life at this time was going fantastic for me. I felt as though declaring my atheism released a weight that had been holding me down and keeping me from my full potential, and I did flourish. The day I decided God wasn’t real everything truly did turn around for me. I went from failing classes to straight A’s. I got a good job. I passed the state boards to become an EMT while I was only 17. I was elected president of SADD, and inducted into the National Honor Society. I put together a drunk driving prevention demonstration. I was interviewed for newspapers and a radio show. I presented my demonstration before major EMS regulatory bodies in Topeka. I was featured on the front page of an EMS website.  I felt very respected by the community, and got involved in just about every volunteer opportunity I could. Things couldn’t have been much better.

After going to college and joining a fraternity I found a large group of people who felt the same way I did. Several of them had grown up in religious private schools and were really unhappy with their religious experiences. They were also very intellectual people. Many of them were essentially atheists or agnostics but were afraid to take the final step and “come out” because they were afraid of persecution. I believe I emboldened some of them to do so by freely admitting to anyone who wanted to know that I considered myself an atheist.

Everything was going great until college. It started with depression that developed shortly after moving away from home. Next came the anxiety problems. First I was diagnosed with panic disorder. This diagnosis was crushing to me. My ego was pretty big at the time and I felt like I was way too tough to have an anxiety disorder. Sadly things only got worse. I was stressed out. Bad. I just didn’t know it yet. I began drinking and taking sleeping pills at the same time every single night to get to sleep and I had some bad experiences that left me scared.

My anxiety forced me to quit an internship and was seriously affecting my grades. Anxiety and depression were also keeping me from flourishing as I had done previously. I have always been an obsessive person, and I had suspected I might have OCD since I was 16. I think my personality made OCD inevitable for me. As I said before, I just think and think and think and can never let anything go. Things slowly got worse for me, until my anxieties were seriously interfering with my day to day life.

I sought help with student health services and began seeing a psychologist and meeting with a mindfulness meditation group. At this time I was having anxiety problems so bad I was becoming physically sick. I had gastrointestinal problems and high blood pressure that kept me in the doctor’s office, but the problems were all caused by chronic stress.

 I would struggle through each day, and the only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that when I was finished with my duties for the day, I could take a sweet short vacation from my anxieties with the help of alcohol. It was my only relief, and I began to rely on it more and more.

It was at this point when I was near completely breaking, that I began to examine my beliefs more closely. I was consumed with thoughts of death and needed answers. So I began reading, and then praying. I began to notice God working in my life. It was proposed to me that maybe OCD was God’s way of calling me back to him, and I believed it might be true. I hoped it was true. I was told that the way to cure my OCD was to submit myself to God, because mental disorders were all a result of sin. I believed this too. I was at my wit’s end and needed answers. So I began calling out to God, begging for help.

Sadly this is not the part of the story where everything gets better. Things did improve for a while. I stopped seeing the psychologist and began to feel better. I began reading my bible and began forming new opinions. I discovered that science is not opposed to God; it is the study of God’s work! Scientific findings that are unexpected need not be shunned or feared by Christians. 

OCD is a lifelong disease. It is not curable. It can be managed effectively but at that time I did not have the tools or understanding to live with OCD, which is why things slowly got worse. And worse. Until I was even worse than I was before. It got so bad I was completely incapable of functioning in my day-to-day life. I could not study for my classes. I could barely even leave the house to make it to class. My grades obviously suffered. I was oblivious to important things like my own finances. I simply didn’t have the mental energy to consider them. I returned to drinking even more this time to escape. I dropped to new lows of depression and self-loathing. It was misery.  

I blamed myself for my OCD problems getting worse. I assumed I just wasn’t right with God somehow. I tried to be perfect, and beat myself up for each little sin thinking that that was why I was still having anxiety problems. At this point, I wasn’t capable of properly understanding how my relationship with God should work and how to develop it.  I put off getting real help for a long time thinking that the only real solution to my problems was through God and that if I sought help from a psychologist or tried medication, that would mean that I had failed in my relationship with God. That would mean that I didn’t trust him enough or that I gave up on him.

Eventually the only thing that got me in to see a psychologist was a recommendation from a dear friend for a “Christian” psychologist. She was indeed a Christian psychologist, and worked at Christian Psychological Services. But she treated my OCD just like any secular psychologist would. Thank God! She really knew what she was doing. I went to see a doctor and got started on medication, and within months I felt better than ever. I feel great! I owe my life to that wonderful woman. She released me from treatment just a few weeks ago, and I miss her dearly.

Why did God make me suffer for so long before he finally gave me help? If he had sent me to see that psychologist three years ago I may have graduated from KU already. I would probably have much better grades. My finances would be in better shape, and I probably wouldn’t have abused alcohol so heavily. Why did I have to suffer so much for so long and see my life crumble around me? I was supposed to get early entrance into medical school. I was supposed to be in medical school RIGHT now!

I think God has a different view of suffering than we do. In the western world in our comfortable homes and protected cities we do whatever we can to avoid suffering. We do whatever we can to avoid any discomfort and maximize our pleasure. In most of the world it is not possible to live as comfortably as we do, and people are more accustomed to suffering. 

As much as it hurt, I have to admit that today I am a much better person. I used to be arrogant, egotistical, and judgmental. Fat? It’s because you’re lazy. Janitor? It’s because you were too stupid to get through college. Anxiety problems or depression? Suck it up and quit whining! Many people think this way, and Christians can actually be the worst about making these kinds of judgments.  I have always felt more comfortable around non-religious people because I feel they are much more open-minded and less judgmental. Because of my experiences, I feel that I am exceptionally good at nonjudgment now. I can be inviting and kind to anyone, and through my own struggles in life, I have developed a real empathy for others. Gay, straight, fat, lazy, sinner, criminal…I know life doesn’t always work out how you planned. And I know how it feels to not fit in, and to be judged. And I know how that makes people act.

I also know how outsiders view Christians and religion and what they don’t like about it. I practically wrote the book on it. I also know how Christians view outsiders and that often despite good intentions they can be quite exclusionary. I know how as humans, none of us have it all figured out. We all just do the best we can trying to make sense of so much conflicting information. I have spent so much time trying to find definite answers to all the most important questions only to end up even more confused. The one thing I am sure of is God’s intense love for all people.

Only a few days ago, I had another epiphany. I was looking back on my life, and thinking about how much I have learned and how much my struggles have changed me. I saw how all my mistakes, my rebellion, and my suffering has all led me to who I am today. I have become a person God can use. I have a unique skillset that is valuable! I feel that God has offered me a mission, Mission Impossible style. My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to use my experiences and strengths to demonstrate God’s undying love to everyone I can.

I don’t believe it was a command. More of an offer. The choice was to either stay in my comfort zone here in my comfortable house and live out the rest of my life in stagnation, or spread my wings and fly! I am choosing the more difficult path and stepping out of my comfort zone. I am shy and quiet by nature, and mostly a loner, but my job is to become a beacon of love and hope for those who need it. I have a lot of skills left to acquire to make me good at this job, but God has been shaping me from day one. Even when I didn’t know it.

Romans 5:3 says:

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Romans 8:18 reads:

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

Our sufferings in this life may seem unbearable, but I believe they are trivial in comparison to what we have to look forward to. Suffering isn’t something to be so afraid of.

And one more--Matthew 16:24:

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."

Now I will ask him for more direction, and keep working to become the man he wants me to be. This is why I am going to Uganda. It is merely the start of a lifetime of service to God. I am excited to see how much more I can develop, and how much good I can do in the world.

What God Can Do

From the time I got home from Uganda last April, I have begged the Lord to allow me to return.  How does that work?  In my mind, I am rationalizing...all of my fundraising is for the school construction.  I am writing letters, emailing, researching how to set up a non-profit, baking cakes, baking cookies, selling beads....  Doing what I can to help.  At what point can I possibly think that I can afford to make another trip?  It doesn't make sense.   But I keep asking, keep praying.  And I think there will certainly be a wait involved and I am prepared to wait.  I've done that before.

So one day I'm home sick and Mitch calls out of the blue to discuss some things for the sponsorship program. As we are winding up the call, he mentions that he and Shannon are heading to Ethiopia in the next couple weeks to pick up their new son and may take a couple days on the way to stop by and see Pastor Andrew. 

Oh my...my sappy emotional self kicks into high gear.  Just the thought of being able to go there, to see the school, see the children, the women and Pastor Andrew.  Oh, I wanted to go again so bad.  Mitch says he's going in May and I should just plan to go on that trip, said he'd "pray me there." 

It will be a "Man Up" team, he said, but they need women to go too.  They are going to Kampala to visit Pastor Samuel and Sarah at Return Ministries, Palisa to visit Pastor Samuel and Mercy at Kerith Children's Home, and to Jinja to stay at Canaan and visit Pastor Andrew and Home Again.  Really!!!  My three favorite ministries!  All in one trip!  At a time when I could go!  Really!!!

I began to pray and ask the Lord for His guidance.  Just because I wanted to go, and just because it sounded so perfect didn't mean that I should go.  I wanted to know for sure if this trip was in His plan for me. 

I knew that if I was to go, there were some really big mountains that would have to move.  Did you know that Jesus said that?  In Matthew 17:20 He says

"...if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed,

you will say to this  mountain,

'move from here to there,'

and it will move,

and nothing will be impossible for you."

 

It seemed simple enough then....I just began to pray that God would move mountains.  As a few of the smaller mountains began to give way, my faith grew, and my confidence with it.  By the time I got to the tallest, scariest mountains, I knew I was supposed to go on this trip and I was just waiting for those mountains to crumble.  And they did!   Only God could have moved those mountains....only God.

 

But that wasn't all God had planned.  Oh no, that wasn't all.  There was more. 

 

I was excited, so excited to be going.  I was ready to really be a big girl and go by myself this time.  My dear and lovely Kristen is the proud mama of twin boys as of yesterday.  Oh praise the Lord!!!  And as much as I dearly loved my Visiting Orphans team, I was fully prepared to "Man Up and Go" without them.

 

About a week ago, as I was praying early one morning, I asked the Lord what He would speak to me that day.  As I read Ephesians this verse just jumped off the page and then for several days, I was seeing or hearing this verse everywhere.  Ever have that happen?

 

"Now to Him who is able to do

far more abundantly than all we ask

or think, according to the power

at work within us,

to Him be glory in the church and

in Christ Jesus throughout

all generations, forever and ever.  Amen"

 



 

After several days of meditating on this verse, I began to get the picture that God was about to do something big.  Then the phone rings and my son, Andrew, tells me,

 

"Mom, I want to go to Uganda with you!"

 

Wow! What did you just say?  Andrew has been working behind the scenes for many months designing a logo, researching and building a website, working on getting our sponsorship kids onto the website.  He has called me many times to just ask questions about the people in Uganda, Pastor Andrew, the culture.  I had thought it would be amazing for him to be able to go over and meet them all someday and had mentioned it, but Andrew has a lot on his plate and that really didn't seem to fit into his current picture, or so I thought.

 

After a couple days of praying and really seeking the Lord, Andrew made a commitment. 

 

 

ANDREW IS GOING TO UGANDA WITH ME!

 

Andrew and his beautiful wife, Jennifer

 

 

Bless the Lord, oh my soul!

 

That was certainly more than I could have ever thought to ask for.  Now God will need to do abundantly more again as we fundraise for me, Andrew and the vocational projects for the Karamajong women that I had already asked the Lord's provision for. 

 

It seems a little like I've been here before.  Andrew is joining our team at the last minute, like Kristen did last year.  When he made his decision, Andrew had two weeks to raise $2,000, like I did last year.  Having been down this road before I am confident that the Lord will provide.  We know that He is in control of all things, and it is exciting to watch and see what He will do.  He is so infinitely creative.

For our part, we do have some fundraisers underway.  A huge thank you to my dear friend, Jan Walker, for organizing a fundraiser at Risen King Church in Weskan this coming Sunday.  We will be serving Taco Salads and Ugandan Beans and Rice for a luncheon after the Sunday morning service.  Come and join us if you live nearby! 

Stay tuned for a really fun event being planned for early April here in Tribune.  "Lift Up the Ladies Night."  Our goal, besides a fun night out with the girls, is to fill up a suitcase with bras to "support" our sisters in Uganda!

We are also looking at having a fundraiser luncheon in Lawrence for Andrew in early April as well.  More details to follow.

If you don't live nearby and would like to support us, we would be so grateful.  As previously mentioned, Andrew needs $2,000 by March 15 (or as soon thereafter as possible).  Then we will both need an additional $1,400 by April 15.  Any additional funds over our trip needs will go toward vocational projects for the Karamojong women and to offset expenses for a womens' conference Home Again Ministries is planning for late May.  The Karamajong women are interested in raising pigs, sewing machines and a grinder for making peanut butter.  I have some money already donated specifically to this fund, but we are hoping to have enough for several of their vocational ideas and to pay the conference expenses as well.

 

 

Karamajong women at Masese

 



One thing I might address, as it has been mentioned to me and some of you may be wondering as well....

 

Why are we spending all that money to go?  Why don't we just send more money and stay home? 

 

We have sent money..... 

 

Collectively speaking for Home Again Ministries, we have sent money to purchase land, to construct a school building including restrooms, office space, kitchen, playground, fencing and security gate.  We have sent money to cover operating expenses to keep the school functioning while we work on finding sponsors for the children. 

 

They want us to come visit.  Last year when we went to Uganda, they were so grateful that we would COME to visit them.  Everywhere we went they were so happy that we were there.  I had a woman thank me with tears in her eyes, and ask me to relay a message to my husband that she was thankful that he loved me enough to allow me to go to Uganda to love on them.  Wow!  It was powerful.

 

Accountability is very important when you are sending large amounts of money to a ministry in another country.  Visiting and building relationships is good for accountability and planning.  They pray that we will come visit and they respond with grateful hearts when we are there.  They don't want us to just send money.  And....

 

Jesus told us to GO into all the world and make disciples.  He didn't say send money into all the world.  Building relationships and loving on people in person is so important.

 

Religion that is pure and undefiled before

God the Father, is this:

to visit orphans and widows in their affliction,

and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

James 1:27

 

Will you prayerfully consider supporting us?  Donations can be made online to my Sending Love fund at National Christian Foundation.  Or checks can be made out to National Christian Foundation with "Sending Love" in the memo line and mailed to me at P O Box 404, Tribune, KS 67879.

We are confident in Him,

that he is working all things for our good,

that He is accomplishing the expansion of His kingdom in Uganda,

that He is fulfilling the desire He has placed in our hearts,

that as we trust in Him, he is directing our paths. 

Because....

That's what God can do!

 

 

Trusting in HIM,

 

 

Shelli

 

 

 

When You Need to Tell the Rest of the Story...

Yes, I know...

Months have gone by.  I don't know where time goes. 

But my story didn't stop when I didn't write. 

I never got around to writing about my time with the Karamojong.  I never got to the punchline.  The most important part of the story is still untold.

My trip to Uganda last April was never meant to just be a missions trip.  It was the desire of my heart to be involved in missions.  I initially contacted Visiting Orphans to ask them about partnering with a ministry in Uganda for the purpose of building a long-term relationship and hopefully fundraising and sending support.

When James, Visiting Orphans' Uganda coordinator, began to tell me about Pastor Andrew's heart for the Karamojong women and children something happened inside of me.  All of my preparations for the trip and excitement grew in anticipation of meeting Pastor Andrew and the Karamojong.  I loved the other ministries that we visited, but when I met Pastor Andrew and we visited Masese, I knew my heart was home.  Pastor Andrew shared with me his desire to build a school in Masese and it seemed like such an attainable goal.  Other projects needed by other ministries had me so overwhelmed, but Pastor Andrew had his school project broken down into phases and budgeted for each phase of the project.  It seemed so doable.  And a worthy project for sure.... These mothers can barely feed their children.  They do not have money to pay school fees.  Pastor Andrew said that even if they could afford to pay the fees, the children would go to school outside of Masese and they are bullied in these other schools because they are Karamojong.  The Karamojong tribe are considered the lowest of low in Ugandan society.

 

 

 

 

When I got back to the states, the Lord confirmed to me in some very creative ways that I was to continue my relationship with Home Again Ministries.  Pastor Andrew and I began to communicate through emails, and I was able to get to know him and his heart for ministry.  I prayed continually that the Lord would show me what to do next... and then what to do next after that....and after that.

 

Pastor Andrew sent a box of beaded necklaces made by the Karamojong women.  I began to look for any opportunity to tell people about my new friends in Uganda and their needs.  I sold beads and Cakes for Kids, set up the Sending Love fund, opened a bank account and by July, I wired my first $2,000 to Pastor Andrew to help with building the school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My fundraising continued into late summer and fall.  Pastor Andrew sent more beads.  Visiting Orphans referred several who had been to Uganda and met Pastor Andrew and wanted to make donations to Home Again. We began communicating by email and more donations were received.   The bank account grew, another wire was sent... and,

 

On September 3, school started with sixty-three students and three teachers!

 

 

 



 

 



 

Wow! Isn't that fantastic?  God was so faithful.  And while I was amazed at the donations I had received, I also knew that my donations alone were not getting that school built.  Nevertheless, I was so blessed to be a small part.

All the while I was working hard and raising money, there was a couple in Springfield, MO, who shared my passion for the Karamojong and were also raising money and sending it to Pastor Andrew.  Praise the Lord!  Pastor Andrew introduced me to Mitch and Shannon Hauschildt in September.  What a blessing!  God has worked mightily through Mitch and Shannon to raise money for the school construction and initial operating expenses.

Since that time, Mitch, Shannon and I have started working together in our efforts to support Home Again.  My son, Andrew, is building a website for Home Again Ministries which will feature the sponsorship program.   Christian Aid Mission will be handling the monthly donations from sponsors.  Sponsorships are $30 a month to cover school expenses and two meals a day for a precious child. This is Rhodha Acham, one of our children waiting for a sponsor.

Once the school was built, it was determined that the next important expenditure would be to purchase the land.  The total cost was $12,000.  Mitch had donations for the initial $6,000 for the down payment.  Then I received a $2,000 donation specified to go toward the land.  And now I have just heard from Mitch that we have the remaining $4,000 for the final payment.  Praise the Lord!

I have met so many wonderful people through this process, but I have to say it is especially facinating to meet someone online, through email and facebook, and find that God has placed the same desires in their hearts as in my own.  

Visiting Orphans introduced me to my dear friend out in Fox Island, Washington....a shout out to Sally Lewis, a faithful friend and true sister.  My young friend, Katrina Hooley, from Indiana, steadfast and obedient to the Lord.  And Lexie Thomas, such an encouragement, off to Japan with her military husband.  Louise Masterson, passionate for orphans out in Vermont.  Needless to say I won't be meeting any of these wonderful women at Starbuck's for coffee.  Oh, but I did get to meet Andrea Conway!  In person!  So amazing!  Due to a mistake by Visiting Orphans, my beads from Pastor Andrew were sent to Andrea.  Wonder of all wonders, she lives a short distance from my parents, and we met in person to correct the mistake!  Several hours at Starbuck's talking about Africa...pure joy!

2012 was an exciting year to be sure.  I started the year by saying "Yes" to God and ended it wanting even more of His presence in my life.  Trusting Him even more....  Depending on Him even more.... Even more aware of His leading me....  

I have always loved this verse:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.
 

But even better to actually experience it day by day.

So what is in store for 2013?  There have been some wonderful surprises from the Lord already.  I can hardly wait to see what all He has in store. 

To be continued......very soon!

In HIM,

Shelli